Happy and Sad Eggs: A Recipe For Disaster

Some people choose not to eat foods with faces. And here at The Spooky Action Show, we respect that. But we’ve never been strangers to the strange and unusual lurking in your icebox. In honor of the world’s best paranormal kitchen appliance tales, we present to you: Happy and Sad Eggs. Finally, a healthy and affordable snack that anybody can make! With half the calories of the leading snack food of your choice!*

Here’s how to make Happy and Sad Eggs.

Step 1: Gather Supplies

You will need some eggs and a marker. Something like a Sharpie marker works nice, although you will need the eggs to be nice and dry. Room temperature eggs are always best if they are farm-fresh, unwashed eggs. If they’ve already been refrigerated, you’ll first want to boil or bake them in the shell, and then let them cool. If you’re using cold raw eggs straight out of the refrigerator, please do so at your own risk. The eggs will be fragile and condensation may form on the outside of the shell, creating a less than perfect environment for applying the faces.

Step 2: Draw Faces

That’s right, the moment you’ve all been waiting for is finally here. It is time to adorn your eggs with the likeness of your boss that you can’t stand, that coworker whose chair could use a thumbtack or two, or even your favorite cryptid in egg form. You can also create an entirely new face altogether. This part is up to you. Allow yourself to relax, and really feel into the egg. Try to visualize the spirit of the soul trapped inside and do your best to express it on the outside of the egg. Let the egg come alive with your creative energy as you do your decorative worst! If you make a mistake, that’s ok. Sometimes you have to crack a few eggs to make an omelet, as we used to say in the biz. Just grab another egg and try, try again.

Step 3: Sit Back and Enjoy

Now that you’ve made your Happy and Sad Eggs, allow yourself to bask in the glow of accomplishment as you admire your creations. If you don’t want to eat the eggs, that’s ok. Perhaps you have a friend or neighbor who could use them. Or, perhaps you can’t wait to peel the little bastards open and give them what they’ve got coming to them. We don’t judge. Foods with moods are for everyone and there’s plenty of room in the inn.

 

*Based on a skewed, totally non-scientific study we conducted that was rushed and shady at best.